Warmest felicitations to you and my compatriots! It is a bright and lovely day and one cannot help but be hopeful despite the hopelessness surrounding us. One however becomes less hopeful of the situation when there is boiling at the freezing point. Confused, eh?
Oh, yes! You heard right, Abusuapanin! It may sound bizarre to you, but something is really boiling at the freezing point. When a mentor and his protÃ©gÃ© start quarrelling at the very period they should be basking in their electoral victory, it makes one suspect that something has gone amiss.
It has been proven scientifically that boiling only occurs at 100ºc. It is also a scientific fact that only freezing occurs at 0ºc or -4ºc. It therefore defies all scientific logic when boiling occurs at the very point that freezing should be taking place. That is indeed a paradox, isn't it?
It is no secret that there is no love lost between Agya Ofuntuo and his mentor. For one to say they do not see eye to eye would be euphemistic because the two have virtually become like George Bush and Sadam Hussein. What started as a minor disagreement has degenerated to the level that one of them has now been labelled 'traitor'.
At the 30th anniversary lecture of the 31st December Women's Movement, Dr. Boom gave an anecdote of the 'perceived enemies' and the 'traitors'. He said since they could not fight the two and win, it was only wise for them to make sure one goes. And the one to go, he said, was the latter.
Let's not pretend not to know the traitors because insinuations and innuendoes have their intended targets. The traitors include those who entered politics wearing 'Chinese Kanbu' but ended up wearing designer shoes and clothing. They include those who never dreamt of leading this great country until they were picked from obscurity and brought into the political limelight. They include the nobodies who rode on Dr. Boom's back to become Generals of a swarm of insects.
Hate or love him, you cannot begrudge Dr. Boom for feeling bitter because he has been betrayed by the very people he sacrificed his life for. Frankly, no objective person can even dream of begrudging him.
I brought you into my party, made you my vice-president and subsequently declared you my de-facto successor. Some called me dictator, while others even left the party as a result. You now become president and you gleefully wine and dine with the very people who became my 'enemies' because of you. What could be more treacherous than that? Indeed, the traitor is more cunning than the known enemy, so it is right that the former goes first.
In a very unusual twist, a presidential aide replied Dr. Boom in equal measure as he claimed the former president was rather the traitor. He claimed Dr. Boom was the one betraying them because he, Dr. Boom, was trying to put sand in the nutritious 'gari soakings' they are eating 'nyafu-nyafu'.
There is no doubt that the holes in the Umbrella are becoming bigger by the day. Is it any wonder that there is a tug of umbrella in the party?
Yes, Nana Boomress is now claiming ownership of the Zu-za logo. Some think it is a psychological prank, while others think it is only a harmless threat.
But I have a very different view altogether. I think it is a threat that should not be taken lightly by Zu-za. True, the party has used the logo for nearly two decades now. But that does not negate the fact that Nana Boomress had registered the eagle-headed Umbrella as her intellectual property about two years ago. I'm of the conviction that treating Nana Boomress' threat as a mere psychological prank would be sheer foolhardiness.
I've said this before and would repeat it here. The Boom family is hell-bent on using the 'Leper Theory'. In case you've forgotten, this is the 'Leper Theory': It tells us that once upon a time, a leper went to buy Hausa koko. He was one of the early birds but was discriminated against because of his ailment. All his protestations fell on deaf ears; so in his desperation, he put his leprosy-infested fingers into the hot koko, stirred and said: 'If I won't get the koko, then no one else will.' Surprised and disappointed, the other customers walked away, leaving the koko seller with her leprosy-infected koko.
So long as Agya Ofuntuo and his cronies continue to treat Dr. Boom and his wife like lepers, they should not be surprised when the Boom family uses its 'leprosy-infested' hands to contaminate the delicious soup Zu-za is currently savouring.
However, Dr. Boom cannot totally escape blame. He started this whole mess. He planted a very bad seed in 1999 when he unilaterally picked a successor and did not allow democracy to prevail. He is now reaping the fruits of what he sowed. Unfortunately for me and my compatriots, we are also compelled to eat that bitter fruit because we've been caught in the web. All we can hope and pray for is that December 7 comes soon so we can free ourselves from the web.
Life in the web is not a pleasant one at all. Frankly, were I not a teetotaler, I would have rushed to my senior colleague Kwesi Biney for four tots of his mahogany bitters to drink my sorrows away.